Browse archives: 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001 | 2000 | 1999 | 1998 | 1997 | 1996 | 1995

Published on 10/02/1995 All articles from this issue

Students dealing with more than homework at school

printer friendly version

Dear Jean: Back to school again! My 12-year-old who didn't act up all summer is now being rude and ugly to us all. My 8-year-old girl is having stomach aches. I am getting anxious about the time requirement of my children's homework. We have the back to school jitters.

Dear Back to School Jitters: Thanks for reminding me how hard school is on so many children. If someone feels the anxiety of not performing well enough, or the social stress of not being accepted by the other kids who can be cruel and teasers, there will be symptoms coming home from school with your children.

Please listen carefully and try multiple choice questions on the children who will not volunteer the distress. Ask your children, "Are you afraid you can't read or learn as fast as the other kids? Do you worry that someone will make fun of you because of how you look or talk? Or are you scared that you just don't know how to make friends? Are you afraid of the teacher?"

Many school children are afraid of their teachers, no matter how kind or empathic the teacher may be. They worry about public exposure, or that they are too shy to speak in class, or that the teacher will tell abusive and militant parents about their lack of effort, or they are just plain authority-phobic.

We have discovered that children often echo parents who may also have had a hard time in school. Attention Deficit Disorder may not have been in vogue when you were in school, but you still may have suffered from it, with the distress from your teacher who may have not given you the understanding we do now. Or you may have felt socially inferior, or so smart that the kids couldn't relate to you. This can warp your own translation of school and what it can be like for your own children. Please do your own soul-searching and imagine that things are better now, and teachers can spot learning disabilities earlier, and that you can even be a more sympathetic parent than your own parents were. Good luck!

Need advice? Write to Jean Hollands, president of the Growth & Leadership Center in Mountain View. Address your letters to "Dear Jean," 1451 Grant Road, Suite 102, Mountain View 94040.