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Published on 07/21/1997 All articles from this issue

Managing the addictive boss or colleague

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By Jean Hollands

Jean on the Job

Dear Readers: I want to thank you for your great support, through notes and visits, about my transition in this newspaper from Dear Jean to Jean On The Job. I am amazed at the stay-at-home wives and some husbands who tell me that even though they are not in the business world now, they still enjoy this column. Of course, we all know that Los Altos houses more CEOs per capita than most cities, so those folks are reading and talking to me too. That old positive reinforcement works!

Now, back to addictive organizations. These are companies whose major players are compulsive personalities usually addicted to overwork, substances, gambling, smoking or even overeating. The more subtle addictions are over-stressing, controlling and perfectionism.

When a power figure has any compulsive habits or working styles, he or she is likely to enlist an enabling staff around him or her. These staff members are addicted also. They are addicted to helping out the power person. They do this by making excuses, taking the abuse or keeping his head down, being the good soldier, and not setting limits for unhealthy behaviors on the job.

To manage the addictive boss or colleague

Name the problem. Try, "John, your stress is getting us all down. When you are in your harried place, I feel abused by your language and your attacking style."

Set your limits. Try, "When you talk to me in the demanding and abusive way again, I will have to walk out of the building."

Or, "If you are late for your reports, Jeff, I can't make excuses any longer for you. I know that you do not have a legitimate reason to be late, and I resent the lies you ask me to make."

Describe consequences and rewards. "If this behavior persists, I will have to speak to your manager, or I will have to leave the company, or I would like a transfer." Or, "If you do change this behavior, I will be able to work for you with more confidence and trust, and, therefore, I will be much more productive."

Ask for an intervention. "Bob, I'm worried about you. I think you may have an addiction, and, though you may think it is not any of my business, your behavior on the job is causing a problem for me in this business. I'd like to suggest that you go for some counseling or to a recovery program or take a Type A stress class, or talk to our human resource group about resources for you."

It takes courage to call someone on his addictions. Most substance addicts take an average of seven interventions before they actually take help. Compulsive behaviors like perfectionism are always so complicated that an intervention is harder.

We are often rewarded for addictive behaviors, especially when we work in a results-first company. I remember talking to a venture group who commented to me that they would rather hire a workaholic, driven, addictive personality because that person would put the company first and work their little heads off. It's only later, much later, that those driven employees either burn themselves out or burn their colleagues out.

Jean Hollands, CEO of the Growth and Leadership Center in Mountain View, is a management coach, author and corporate team builder.