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Published on 07/20/1998 All articles from this issue

Los Altos mom chooses home birth

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By Cynthia Collier

Special to the Town Crier

She 'simply trusted all would be well'

Home births, once a necessity in the days before modern medicine, are now making a comeback - this time by choice. As a follow-up to last week's lead-off story about home birthing in the "Your Health" section, Los Altos resident Cynthia Collier offers her first-hand experiences.

My first pregnancy began while I was living in the developing world, and was carefully timed to be completed after returning to the developed world. Back then there was no way in the world I would do what my friend Mickey had done - deliver a baby in Indonesia's outback into the hands of village midwives.

"What if something had happened?" I asked. She had simply trusted all would be well. "Didn't that verge on recklessness?" I wondered. Yet I was in awe. Here was confidence that I yearned to have.

Five years later I had Mickey on my mind again. Ready for a third pregnancy, I had no maternity coverage. I balked at paying out-of-pocket for a hospital delivery and decided to explore home birth.

The more I learned, the more I liked it. I admit my faith wasn't Mickey's. Two uncomplicated hospital births had given me confidence. But for whatever reason, I was hooked.

After interviewing midwives, I settled on Claudie. She came to my home for prenatal visits, and over the months came to know my family well.

Fully aware of our desires, she didn't hesitate to give advice when she thought we could benefit by it.

For example, I had no intention to have my sons present at the birth, feeling they were too young and vulnerable.

But Claudie urged otherwise. "Cynthia," she reasoned, "they aren't going to be afraid. You give these little boys the chance to be there, and they will always have a respect for life and for the strength of women."

My heart burned at those words. My plans were changed.

Contrary to my expectations, this labor was painfully long. But the midwives, working and waiting with me through much of the night and day, helped me handle it with patience, imagination and humor.

As for my children, the groans and yells of their suffering parent far from unnerved them. They sat calmly by, heedless of the blood, the mess, the confusion, the racket, eating a snack of muffins while absorbed by the drama.

When their baby sister emerged, the elder went straight to her side to admire. The younger preferred to wait a few minutes until she turned soft and pink from her initial greasy white and blue.

After a comforting herbal bath, my newborn and I were tucked into a freshly made bed, where we slept long and peacefully through that first night. The midwives were back in the morning, and continued to visit frequently to help with postpartum issues. When their job was done, I missed their care for weeks.

I don't deny having regrets during that labor, where I wished like crazy I was at the hospital with an epidural in my back. But encouraged by my helpers, I hung on and came through feeling something new.

Claudie had promised me my boys would perceive strength, but I didn't know that I would, too.

Our fourth child, another son, was born at home just four months ago. Now I was the one fielding the question, "What if something should happen?" Sometimes I surprised myself at the confidence of my response. I simply trusted that all would be well.

And thankfully, once again, it was.

Collier and her family live in Los Altos.