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Published on 10/19/1998 All articles from this issue

Confessions of a soccer mom

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By Joan Passarelli

Blue Jeans & Jelly Beans

I started out two years ago as a regular soccer mom. I drove my son to his games and cheered every time his team kicked the ball the right direction. I brought quartered oranges when it was my turn and wiped off sticky hands afterwards. I didn't know the rules, but I always wore a shirt in the team's color. I got very good at digging muddy grass out of soccer cleats before we got in the van to go home.

The next year, I assistant-coached for my son's team. The head coach, Pat, was a good friend of mine, a real athlete with physical education. and coaching experience. I learned a lot from her about drills, strategy, and field position. I even learned what an offside penalty was. I thrilled to watch the boys race over the grass to the ball, or pass to a teammate for a goal, or even just keep trying when our team was behind. I cheered and yelled until I was hoarse. I had as much fun as they did, or more.

This year, my son didn't play, but my next child, a girl, did. I joined two of my friends whose daughters were friends with mine. None of us wanted to be a head coach, but we all wanted to assist in some way.

Then we realized we could do it as co-coaches. Pearl, a natural coach and teacher, runs practices. Gay and I help out at them. American Youth Soccer Organization coaching clinics gave us much needed skills and drills, not to mention confidence. Gay draws up the weekly lineups, balancing the players, preferences for positions, whose turn it is to play them, and the rule that everyone should play the same number of quarters. I just communicate with parents and other teams.

To our surprise, we make a pretty effective team. We don't worry about winning too much, just work on skills and good sportsmanship. But we still win some games, which makes it fun for the players. And I still get that rush of adrenaline ecstasy watching from the sidelines.

Now that I've gone from sideline parent, to assistant coach, to co-coach, what's the next step? It's not to head-coach my own team, that's for sure. I'll help coach as long as any of my children wants to play, but I don't want the sole responsibility of running a team by myself.

What I want to do is play the game. I never played soccer as a kid. I was a couple of years too old when AYSO started. The only team sport I can claim is one season of women's rugby in college. That gave me a sense of teamwork, a high tolerance for mud, and my only experience of beer drinking on a regular basis.

Soccer looks like so much fun that I want to try it. Somewhere there must be a league that will take a 35-and-over beginner like me and let me do what my kids do. I want to learn to handle the ball with my feet, not my hands. I want to chase the ball with every ounce of energy I have. I want to help make the ball go to the back of the net for our team. I want to move up from "soccer mom" to "soccer-playin' mama."

Joan Passarelli, a Mountain View mother of three, is looking for a tolerant soccer league to join.