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Published on 01/18/1999 All articles from this issue

Genderflexing and moving beyond the sexual stereotypes

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By Jean Hollands

Jean on the Job

Genderflexing is a term coined by Shari Caudron in the Personnel Journal, May 1995, in an article, "Return to Sexual Politics." Genderflexing is the ability to move beyond our stereotypical comfort zones.

Men need to flex their sensitive muscles a little and women can toughen up some in some arenas.

The San Jose Chamber of Commerce asked me to keynote for their January business luncheon on the "Differences Between Men and Women on the Job." We selected this title because historically this used to be a lunch for businesswomen and now they wanted to open it up to men in business. The title popped out. But now I have to do something about it because the talk is this Thursday.

Let me disclaim first. The individual differences between all sexes predominately divides employees - not their genders! The differences are human differences: The introvert and the extrovert. The idealist and the realist. The sales personality and the scientist. The quick start and the follow-through person. The innovator and the data gatherer. All of these differences affect your working style more than your sexual orientation.

But, what are some basic differences between the sexes that tend to show up on the job? Men depersonalize reviews, demotions, and terminations more easily than women do. They have been running the business world hundreds of years longer than women have. Women, however, are catching up. Many top level executive women now also become objective when the bottom line is at stake.

Women play team better. They have been taught to cooperate and collaborate with others. They can do it because they stayed at home gathering the fruits and grains and then sorting them between the families. Men were out there with one stone in a bow and had to hit the target in order to win the prize. Their skills were competitive and results only. Later, man created the competitive sports wherein no good man would forfeit a game to indulge a competitor.

There are many other differences - like crying on the job, multi-tasking, and other areas you'll hear when you come to the lecture. But let's get back to genderflexing - a term new to me, and I love it.

Genderflexing suggestions:

Women can flex more by being forceful, brief, rational and powerful.

Men can flex more by showing more sensitivity, by observing their impact on others and by creating opportunities to have win-win solutions.

Women can flex more by giving up self-effacing antics and by showing their talents as directly as possible.

Men can flex by listening, hoping to help everyone in the meeting or group to become less threatening to each other.

Women can learn to give appropriate critical feedback as it results to performance and the bottom line, omitting the more subjective and sometimes enabling sensitivity.

Women can be more concise, without apologies or disclaimers. That is why I will end this column now.

Jean Hollands, CEO, Growth & Leadership Center, author, Silicon Syndrome and Optimistic Organizations, is a management coach and corporate team-builder. Write to GLC, 1451 Grant Road, Mountain View 94040.