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Published on 06/16/1999 All articles from this issue

A weighty story

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By Charlotte K. Jarmy

Reflections

Does it take fame, money and chutzpah to be upfront about obesity in a time of obsessive dieting, bingeing and anorexia? Undoubtedly it would be easier to come out of that particular closet, but most of all it takes the courage to announce to the world that who you are does not depend upon what you weigh.

The latest proud woman to proclaim herself "fat" is Camryn Manheim. She has won acting awards for her role in "The Practice" and has a book published with the "F" word in the title. When my grandson whispered to me that he was not allowed to use that word, I exclaimed in shock, "Of course not. That's a terrible word!" He looked surprised, then said, "I mean the word 'fat.'" I gulped, and answered, "I thoroughly agree. That is a terrible word."

Camryn Manheim, Kathy Bates, Oprah Winfrey and Rosie O'Donnell belong to a special sisterhood. If they all met to discuss fame and society, I bet they'd touch on the pain of being considered different from the current glamour girl image. Yet all of these women have achieved success despite their "womanly" bodies.

Because of their success, they act as role models for the hundreds of women who yearn to be accepted as they are, despite the so-call norms of the entertainment and fashion industries. Today, however, there are magazines glorifying the beauty of round arms and shapely shoulders. There are super models, like Emme, and specialty departments in almost every department store that cater to plus sizes, with fashion designed by Liz Claiborne, Jones of New York, Armani, and Anne Klein; all the names that smaller size women are drawn to.

Delta Burke, enormously popular in her role as a Southern belle some years back, is rarely seen on television these days. Perhaps it is because of the weight problem everyone thought she had, but she has found success in the fashion world by designing clothes for larger women. Her self-confident, lovely face smiles out of ads as if to say, "Hey, I'm doing great. I have a husband who loves me the way I am, and I have a new career that gives me great pleasure." I really admire her attitude and the attitude of the other well-known women who have found they don't have to be like everyone else.

We have all watched Oprah in her very public battle with the scale. Most of us really wanted her to succeed, and when she hit that well-known barrier, we felt disappointed. But Oprah showed her determination to succeed in this battle as she has shown in every undertaking in the public eye. She is a power-lady with the guts to tackle the statistics that say about 90 percent of people who lose weight put it back on. I admire her determination, but I also envy her ability to hire someone to cook for her and a personal trainer to keep her pounding the pavement.

Rosie O'Donnell needs no introduction. Her genial smile and self-confident attitude makes us feel comfortable and happy for her.

She, like Oprah, exudes talent and good will. What a no-nonsense woman.

The beauties of yesterday, like Ann Miller, Kathryn Grayson and Ann Southern no longer look slim and svelte. Most of the time, they avoid the public eye because of their changed looks. Yet Elizabeth Taylor, gorgeous as always, fighting innumerable physical problems, still shows that great spirit. She appears in public, proud and fiercely protective of her privacy and her need to be the gutsy woman who might use a few well-chosen expletives to express her utter disdain for her critics in the tabloids.

Where am I in this pantheon of women dealing with their own all-too-generous bodies? Fighting a life-long battle of self-denial along with the urge to get past this dilemma once and for all. A former boyfriend said, "Stop beating yourself up. It's your personality that will get you what you want." Maybe. But I can wistfully dream that rye bread and pizza were never invented or that they tasted like broccoli!

Charlotte K. Jarmy , a Los Altos resident, supervises teachers at Stanford University and is a free-lance writer.