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Published on 07/28/1999 All articles from this issue

How to have a life and a career at the same time

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By Jean Hollands

Jean on the Job

For the next several weeks I'm going to deliver my best tools for having it all - a personal and professional life. People who cannot attain this status and won't use some of the techniques below are often stymied for one basic reason - low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem people do not practice the 80-20 rule. They spend 80 percent of the time on the last 20 percent low pay-off items. They do not prioritize and reschedule events on a daily basis.

If you have low self-esteem, you believe you must work longer, harder, faster to keep up.

The key to a successful life is to feel you are good enough. When you decide you are good enough, you begin to relax, and amazingly, you don't really slow down! You simply work smarter, get more efficient.

The following are hints for how couples can have it all:

For mates to negotiate: "Let's make a deal" - trade a year with a start-up for a three-month sailing trip around the world.

Get your spouse and your administrative assistant on the same page.

Introduce them, plan a lunch where they can discuss you and your idiosyncrasies, and plan a quarterly maintenance meeting. This diffuses jealousy, and encourages a team approach to travel, extra workloads, family events, and family and spouse emergencies. One exception: do not schedule sex through your administrator. Create codes.

Use the "1-5" method to make decisions (5 equals "This is something I've always dreamed of").

Define your body clocks and then negotiate times to do special events.

Use daily tapes for commuting. Play messages back and forth from mates. Sing to each other. Say soothing things.

Jean A. Hollands is CEO of the Growth & Leadership Center. Write to GLC, 1451 Grant Road, Mountain View, 94040.